This is the longest I have ever held down the R Button.
Serious Sam is a throwback in more ways than one. It exemplifies classic gameplay mechanics mixed with classic first-person shooter concepts. Despite the aged design, there is fun to be had, albeit short-lived.
The worst thing I can say about Serious Sam is that there is not much to say. The game revolves around “Serious” Sam Stone going back in time to stop weird aliens from ruining this blue rock we call Earth. I think that’s it, really. It is very obvious the plot is just filler, and not very good filler. In Serious Sam’s defense, it is equally obvious that CroTeam did not focus that much on it. What they want the player to do is not read, but shoot.
Shoot you will. Serious Sam is action to the bone. Throughout the game you will encounter ludicrous amounts of enemies, gigantic enemies, and a mixture of the two. The enemies are odd, most of them being headless, screaming guys with bombs for hands. Other enemies include yet more headless people, big demons, green-mouthed aliens, giant mutant bulls, ninja monkeys, etc. I really would try to describe more, but the hard truth is that every enemy in Serious Sam acts exactly the same way. Their mission in life is to run towards Sam with intent to maim, possibly throwing out a projectile or two. Such a swarm of enemies gets really hectic and exciting for a very short time, but later it gets really tedious and boring. The game is thus: 1) Kill things. 2) Move to next room. 3) Repeat. There are some vehicles, but the goal is still the same. There are some items, but they only appear after you kill lotsa stuff, so the goal remains. There is co-op, but it’s the same as well. Multiplayer is just basic deathmatch-ery. Nothing new here folks.
One good thing about Serious Sam is its fast graphics displayed at a rock-solid 60 frames-per-second throughout the entire game without any hint of slowdown. Medium grade models with quirky animation may not draw much attention at first, but when these models are displayed en masse, it actually looks pretty nifty to see that much action (albeit basic) on the screen at one time without slowdown. Nice textures all around, with bump-mapping here or there. The worlds are absolutely huge, which is impressive except it works against the game sometimes because it’s boring to trek through so much open space after a conflict.
If there is a high point to Serious Sam, it’s the price point. A score of bucks isn’t a bad buy if all you’re looking for is fast deathmatch / Doom-throwback action, which Serious Sam has a lot of. So if my review seems a little negative, and you’re doubting it, remember it won’t exactly break your bank. So I actually recommend Serious Sam for FPS fans that dislike all this new-fangled mission objective stuff and want to get straight to the action, and possibly want some multiplayer, too. Serious Sam is more than adequate on those fronts.